Monday, November 12, 2007

Doing Things Alone

The biggest realization in my life was that I couldn't do it all alone.

I'm part of a men's group at my church, and having fellowship with them has shown me how easy things are when you don't try to do things yourself, but instead turn to others and humble yourself enough to be in a position you can ask for assistance.

Prayer, turning to God, when we humble ourselves we become able to admit our problems, ask for help, and turn away from following ourselves.

Being one of youngest in the men's group is interesting, most men there have kids my age. However with all their experience in life and experience with marriage, I have learned a lot about being a strong Christian man and how I can become the best Christian husband God wants me to be as I go the rest of my life following Christ.

I enjoy the company of those that are strong in faith, that don't hold onto anger or speak against others, and who forgive people for what they have done in the past.

What I mean are those that don't just read the Bible, but also follow what it commands us to do in life to follow Christ.

Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it.

Lately I've felt myself separating from some of my friends. I don't desire to go to bars and drink. I don't desire to go out and hit on girls. I don't desire to gossip about people and talk bad about anyone behind their back.

I do not want to merely go to church on Sundays and read the Bible at night. I live to listen and read the word to follow the commands and not stand against truth, but with it.

I separate myself from those that live in sin, serve themselves, and try to constantly turn me from the path I'm on. It's not that I turn my back to my friends, but to the world.

At the same time I find myself not alone, but with others who I can talk to, that share the same beliefs, and know what I will not ever have to do things alone.

Friday, November 09, 2007

The Guitar

I was shown a guitar the other day that was custom built and had a story behind that really touched me and showed the power of God at work in all our lives.

This guitar was started by a boy working with a kit with help from a someone at church. He was a kid that would always wear black pants, a black shirt, dye his hair black, paint his nails black, and one day he wore a white shirt. When asked, "Hey, what's up with the white shirt?" he just replied back, "That's Jesus."

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2

We don't really know how much we affect the lives of those around us as we walk through life. I have some friends now that have come to me months after we met as acquaintances and let me know how much I meant to them and helped to change their life.

Even the smallest meeting with someone can affect their life in ways we don't realize. This happens each day we go about our business.

During the construction of the guitar the boy was killed. He was talented and played instruments in worship, and people who read his obituary attended his funeral where many of them were saved during the service.

The guitar was completed with prayers over the delicate construction and when I held it, I got a sense of God's hand in the project and a connection to the boy that was killed who put his hand into the work.

His life touched so many in ways he did not realize, and he lead people to be saved even after his death.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Married!

Friends and family,

I'm married!

I married Tawnie Elizabeth Gadd on March 15th 2007. She is the most beautiful, wonderful girl I have ever known and brings joy to everyone she meets. For those of you that do not know her, I hope you all can meet her in the future and see in person her great spirit and attitude towards life.

We met swing dancing, and I proposed to her on May 15th 2007 on the steps of the same YWCA we first met dancing. We married each other on March 15th 2007 in the Chapel of the Sierra in Reno, and planned to have a bigger ceremony in the future. You can view photos of us at this website:

http://www.pathaugen.com/

Being with Tawnie has shown me what true love is, and by her example I have been shown the truth and brought closer to God whose teachings I stive to follow every day for the rest of my life.

I send this to all of you as we enter November which is an important month to me. November 15th is our six month anniversary and November 23rd is my 26th bithday!

I profess my love for Tawnie and my belief in Jesus Christ as my savior.

Marriage is about love and commitment. I know that for the rest of my days on Earth I will love Tawnie, and have committed myself to her for better or worse as long as we both shall live.

To those of you married or in relationships I encourage you to work on your relationship with Christ and find the fruits of the spirit grow within you which will help to strengthen your love for each other.

I live to show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control with my wife and everyone else I meet (Galatians 5:22 - 5:23).

I have given up my own selfish desires as I move to a new chapter of my life with my wife Tawnie, and turn from trying to run my own company and my ambitions to be a professional dancer which is how most of you know me.

I enter a humble life where I live to be a provider for my family and lead a quiet life as God commands.

I have found my deepest desire is not the ambitions of my past to serve myself, not to be admired, not to even be on stage or to be famous in any way, but to have a family. This is my deepest desire.

Above everything else I thought I wanted in life, a family is what I desire more then anything.

Richard Stauss wrote a great book on marriage called 'Marriage Is for Love' which you can download and print this at the link below and I encourage you all to do so.

http://www.pathaugen.com/marriage.doc

I have learned a lot about the way God wants me to be, and how he wants me to be the best husband I can, and I thank other Christians I study with as they help me to better strengthen my walk with Christ.

I live for honesty and truth. I encourage you all to love one another and if you have any quarrels with anyone you know, go to them, communicate and heal those relationships and do not harbor bitterness in your heart (Matthew 6:14 - 6:15).

I love you all!

Feel free to forward this to other family members so that they may all know my love, and friends feel free to forward this to others that know me as well and share my testimony.

I wish to hold no secrets and to open my life to everyone so that you may all see the joy in my life!

--
Patrick William Haugen
http://www.pathaugen.com/

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentines Day Breakup

I hate spending Valentines Day alone.

It's a symbol, much like the day is a symbol of love, being alone on this day is a symbol of being unloved.

I thought the feeling of being alone on this day was the worst you could experience. 24 straight hours of reflection on why exactly you're spending it alone makes for some serious heartache.

There is worse out there... like someone breaking up with you on Valentines Day. Do the seven stages of grief apply to breaking up? I've felt myself shifting through more moods then a moose! Okay so I made up a comparison there that makes no sense, but I blame my situation and I deal with everything I hate using humor.

I was in love, still am in love which is worse then that, but have the respect to honor their decision and I'm not going to be selfish and try to pull them back or try to thrust myself into someone's life that wants to be rid of me. Plus that's embarrassing for both of us.

They made promises, said they'd love till the end, plans for the future and a hint at something big on March 15th, so many promises! I can't even think of it all right now, perhaps I'm wrong for trying to think about this while it's so new, but I've tried to commit to them before and the next day they wanted to end it after flirting with someone else at a party.

Was I stupid? I asked them full out again on Monday spending the morning finding flowers, clipping them down and forming a small cute 'grip' going to school, waiting till class started to come in, stop things and in front of everyone ask them to be with me.

Later, they said they could have never said no to something so sweet, and if they did they'd have embarrassed themselves. So if everything happens for a reason is the only reason I get out of this to never ask someone to be with me in public because they'll say 'yes' even if in their heart it is a 'no' to save on embarrassing themselves?!

I don't know why I went through commitment to have breakup so soon after ON VALENTINES DAY but with what happened before I should have expected it.

They had problems with their family concerning being with me since they live at home. They hinted at moving out, moving in with me, running away to Reno, getting married, but all just talk I guess it was. Crazy talk perhaps. Perhaps I'm going to be better now?

I don't really enter into commitments, so this was a huge step for me. Seriously. Perhaps the lesson is I need to do it more? Commit more? Well I did and it got me three days and a Valentines Day breakup.

That's cool, I feel good about writing this, I realize my mistakes now and I should have gotten the hints the first time around.

Learn from my mistakes:
1. If someone leaves you only to come back, DON'T TAKE THEM BACK.
2. Don't ask someone to commit to you in public, THEY WILL SAY 'YES' JUST TO SAVE ON EMBARRASSMENT.

So. I'm actually taking some deep breaths here, that helps... hey, if you ever get left on valentines day DO THAT... yeah... deep breath.

Okay I'm back to the 'anger' so I'll end this here.